Drill Down to The Depths with a Simple “Why?” Game!

Have you ever had a child repeatedly ask you “Why?”? I was walking with my granddaughter the other day and she was playing this game.

Me: “Look at that boat out on the lake. I think people are fishing off it.”
Her: “Why?”
Me: “A lot of people like to fish. They find it relaxing.”
Her: “Why?”
Me: “Probably for different reasons. I am usually relaxed when I’m by lakes and oceans too.”
Her: (Giggling) “Why?”
Me: (Now realizing this is a game) “Because the water is beautiful and the sound of it on the shore puts my heart at rest.”
Her: “Why?”
Me: “It’s a peaceful sound.”
Her: “Why?”
Me: (Cutting the game short, picking her up and tickling her) “Because I love you and Jesus loves you and that is all.”

The “Why?” game helps me drill down deep.

I had a week-long visit with my granddaughter. That “Why?” game happened daily. I noticed when we drilled down as far as we could go, God’s love was at the heart of everything.

The second to last answer was either “Because God said so.” or “Because God made it that way.” When “Why?” was asked to either of those statements, the final response was “Because He loves us so much!” That was the end because I couldn’t fathom why.

Playing this childhood game can be tiresome, but the concept is extremely valuable. I think the Holy Spirit has been playing it with me lately too. He’s helping me drill down to the depths of some important matters.

Depth of Focus

I have the tendency to plow through life content to see, hear, and think about the obvious. My focus is often on the surface stuff. And that is to my detriment.

For instance, I’ve been thinking and reading about anxiety. My last post was a result of learning that I treat anxiety as a problem to address, when in truth, it is a symptom of my problems. I can focus all I want on calming my anxious thoughts, but if I allow the circumstances which cause them to continue unresolved, I can’t ever expect to be free of anxiety.

Depth of Belief

The habit of drilling down to the depths of matters is crucial for deciding on my beliefs as well. Many ideas sound solid on the surface, but if I apply pressure, they give way. I must push until I find a foothold that stands.

The Holy Spirit showed this to me by bringing a past conversation to mind. I had posted on social media about my excitement to meet a baby who was due to be born any day. A young Christian had challenged my celebration because, in his words, this young mother was unwed, and her pregnancy was a sin. (He took a stand.)

He had his facts correct. This was an out-of-wedlock, teen pregnancy. It had come about through sin. But the pregnancy was not a sin. It was a consequence. (His platform did not hold.)

A warning sign posted on a wooden pole.
Photo by Skitterphoto on
Secure footing is important!

I explained this to the young man and assured him he could join me in celebration. Not only was the sinful relationship repented of, but the full-term pregnancy was also proof that this young mom had decided virtuously among her options. And new life is always a gift! (A sturdy foothold.)

I think we’d all do well to drill down to the core of what we believe and why. It is crucial with political choices, religious stances, and cultural issues. We may not like the conflict we create when we ask ourselves “Why?”, but until we unpack it, we won’t be able to reconcile it.

Depth of Thought

These things keep reverberating through my mind as I contemplate my internal dialogue. I need to pay attention to my thoughts. And as I drill down to the depths of them, I realize I’ve adopted some ideas without completely thinking them through.

When God looks at us, He sees all the way to the core of us. He pays attention to our thoughts, not just our words. He notices the intentions behind our actions. He knows we can act and speak rightly, but not be righteous inside.

“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7b

We will be accountable to Him for what exists in the depths of us. I think the Holy Spirit is helping me to go there. He is shining a light so I can explore what I find inside. He is asking me “Why?” and then asking it again as we’re drilling down.

Depth of Conversation

Playing the “Why?” game with my granddaughter showed me that my casual comments and observations were insufficient. They weren’t untrue, generally, but they were shallow and left a lot unsaid. Having to answer “why?” after every sentence made our conversation incrementally more meaningful.

I sure would love to be present enough in the depths of myself to speak from there at the onset of a conversation. Wouldn’t it be great if everything that came out of my mouth was only one step away from “because God made it that way” or “because God said so”, and the only other place to go was “because He loves us so much”?

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect”.

1 Peter 3:15

Dear Lord, I have a lot to sort through as your Holy Spirit helps me drill down to the depths of my words, thoughts and intentions. Thank you for the simple “Why?” game, which has highlighted my need to speak and act from a more meaningful place. Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you, oh Lord.

“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”

Psalm 19:14

Hurry Happens in the Heart when Humor Hits Hard

My husband sent the following meme to our kids and me in our family group text. I agreed wholeheartedly and laughed too hard. I felt understood.

When the humor hits hard…

Humor is funnier when it has an element of truth in it. I know this hit hard with some of our kids, because it’s something we’ve been talking about for years! Little did I know God was about to do something with it in my heart.

An diagram of different ways to install a toilet paper roll.
My sentiments exactly!

I have some monsters in my family. I should be thankful if the roll is on the holder, no matter how it hangs. But I’m not. I stand staunchly, loud and proud, on team ‘flap over’. If it’s done wrong, I need to fix it in a hurry.

In our group text, one of my daughters teased that she often changes the rolls from No! to Yes! at her sister’s houses. I gave that a big thumb’s up!

And then one of the sisters chimed in. She said she gets confused because she has to install the rolls in the No! position at work.

That got me thinking.

Oh my goodness, she’s right!

As my mind raced, my heart hurried. I have seen toilet paper dispensers in public restrooms which require rolls installed the wrong (in my not-so-humble opinion) way.

You know the ones? They have flat edges, which hang on the stall wall, and covers that bubble outward. When the roll is inside, the flap of the roll must hang down the back to dispense.

Hurry happened in my heart.

Hurry / noun: disorganized activity, a state of eagerness or haste

I was immediately humbled. Mentally, I walked for a moment in my daughter’s shoes. My heart hurried toward her point of view. I felt compassion that wasn’t there before.

My way is still my favorite way, but it isn’t necessarily “right”. I guess that is what happens in the heart when humor hits hard. It’s hilarious until you understand where someone else is coming from.

I appreciated my daughter for kindly stating her rationale. It let me think, empathize, and learn. And, as God does, He prompted hurry and taught me a lesson.

What about you?

Hurry has happened in my heart on this subject, but I will always hang toilet paper “flap over” in my home. I have been softened by compassion. And I still enjoy the humor in the meme above.

I’m dying to hear your opinion. Are you in agreement, or does this humor hit hard? How do you prefer the toilet paper in your house? Does your family follow your lead?

“The one who states his case first seems right,
    until the other comes and examines him.”

Proverbs 18:17
Celebrations Collaborations

Love from My Daughter’s Heart – A Rich Gift to Me and You

Deep inhale. Sniff. I’m pulling myself together. Seriously, I am!

I have the sweetest thing to share with you today! My oldest daughter, Meagan, wrote a guest post for my birthday. And this is the day I get to publish it. I’m so excited! It hits me right in the feels and I’m so thankful. What a blessing!

Mother and daughter in a heart-shaped photo
Meagan and Me

5 Things About Me that are My Mother’s Fault

a Guest Post

What goes around comes around, Mom.

My name is Meagan. I am Mama Lava’s eldest child. In honor of her birthday, I am writing a guest post to show my love.

A while ago, my mom posted 5 things that she blamed her mother for. Here’s the link to that post. Today, I’d like to return the favor.

Mom, you should know it’s all your fault that I am so…


I asked my siblings what I am most, and they said “kind”. Surely it was all the lessons about being a peacemaker and helping others that made me this way. Undoubtedly the way you treated others modeled kindness in a way that it stuck with me.


Watching you be a mother to five children and teaching me to help them has surely impacted the way I treat others. The way I speak to little ones and build them up and encourage them was certainly learned. Now I’m a mother and a teacher- that’s certainly your fault.

Baking Obsessed

You were a whiz with the kitchen aid, always cooking and baking for us and neighbors and friends. My love of baking definitely stemmed from the days in your kitchen- eating all the cookie dough pieces that fell onto the counter.


You got this from your mama, and I got this from you both. You prefer to defer and so do I. Please everyone, don’t ask Nana, my mom, or I what we want for lunch. We want whatever you want. We are happy when you are.


Like you Mom, I love arts and crafts. Nothing simultaneously calms us down and stresses us out like a new project. Whether its interior design, macramé, or some other medium… We love to create. I remember your treasure chest full of crafts and projects for us to do together with fondness.

A lighthouse, with ships in the background
“We are told to let our light shine, and if it does, we won’t need to tell anybody it does. Lighthouses don’t fire cannons to call attention to their shining- they just shine.”
– Dwight L. Moody

In her original blog post, linked above, my mom quoted Proverbs 22:6 “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” We were just talking about this verse on the phone the other day.

I like to joke that the word “way” is a broad term. Perhaps the “way” is north, and my siblings and I are all headed there but we are taking different routes. Some of us are on windier paths, some of us are finding short cuts, some of us have had tumultuous journeys. We aren’t headed the wrong way- per se- just taking different paths than may have been envisioned for us.

I’m sure every parent can relate to feeling stress over a child making different choices- but different doesn’t always mean wrong. Luckily, I have good foundations- thanks in large part to my mother- to help me along the way.

Happy Birthday Mama Lava- Sending hugs and love to you today!


Helpful Little Hack of the Hour: Chili and Cornbread

Can you believe it is already the last day of August? Where has the time gone? We’ve arrived at the final (for now) helpful little hack of the hour! Let me tell you why I chose chili and cornbread.

This recipe is Simple with a capital S! This is not gourmet chili. But it is hearty, inexpensive, and anyone can make it.

Seriously – even if you’re not a cook, you can do this!

A teal recipe card
I miss recipe cards. Receiving a recipe over text, blog, or email is nice, but it does not preserve the handwriting of the originator.

If you know a student headed to college, send this recipe along. I taught it to my kids when they were in middle school. I made sure they knew where the few ingredients were kept in the fridge and pantry. That way, if ever they needed to (hey, moms get sick too!), they could prepare themselves a comforting meal.

I think I make a pretty good “from scratch” chili. But that doesn’t stop my kids from requesting this variation sometimes. And when they do, I simply agree and let them make it for me! Win/win!

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”

Galatians 5:13

This is a helpful little hack of the hour for everyone to have on hand. I posted this chili and cornbread recipe to encourage the young adults in my life, and I pray it blesses you too. It is The Recipe in Your Back Pocket. (Click to read.)

Wondering why am I publishing these helpful little hacks of the hour? Read the Introduction and Intent post here.

Emotions Recommendations

Helpful Little Hack of the Hour: Free Love

Some people are easy to love. So this little hack of the hour is not about them. Think of someone you find difficult to be around.

There was someone in my life like that. Let’s call her Ann. I found her to be disrespectful, sneaky, and a bad influence on my kids. And yet she was at my house – a lot.

One day, I was on the phone with my mom when Ann showed up. She walked past me and as soon as she was out of ear shot, I complained. I told my mom how I felt.

I don’t remember her exact words, but they implied that God had brought Ann into my life for a reason. Right now, this moment, was an opportunity. Mom said the best thing I could do in response would be to hang up the phone and freely love on Ann with the love of Jesus, which she desperately needed more than anything.

“Freely you have received; freely give.”

Matthew 10:8b
A heart drawn in a dirty window
Photo by Ugur Tandogan on
Love illumines the light of Jesus where the mess obscures it.

You know what? I was the one who suddenly felt free. I didn’t have to correct Ann’s behavior. It wasn’t even up to me to worry about her attitude affecting my family. God brought her over repeatedly, so those things were His responsibility. He could referee. I was free to love her.

I said “Goodbye” to my mom and hung up the phone. I prayed for forgiveness, grace, and wisdom… for me, and from me. I felt authenticity in the smile that spread across my face as I greeted Ann and gave her a hug. I told her I was happy to see her, and I meant it.

Today’s helpful little hack of the hour is free, no strings attached, love because it is what God tells us to do. In fact, He says it is the greatest thing we can do.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:13

I will never forget the relief I felt when I realized I don’t have to fix or control the circumstances surrounding people. God does that. I am free to simply show them His love.

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”

Luke 6:35

Wondering why am I publishing these helpful little hacks of the hour? Read the Introduction and Intent post here.


Helpful Little Hack of the Hour: Fels-Naptha

Got stains? Fels-Naptha!

Fels-Naptha, by Purex, is is my first helpful little hack of the hour because it is the best laundry assistant I have ever found.

And it’s cheap! You might find it in your grocery or drug store aisle for under $2 a bar, but it has been getting harder to find in stores. Amazon prices it right around $2.50.

I have been using Fels-Naptha on every fabric stain for almost 30 years. It has completely removed:

  • Grass stains (even deeply embedded on football uniforms)
  • Mud
  • Blood
  • Coffee
  • Chocolate
  • Black from car engines and tires
  • Red sauce
  • Juice
  • Baby diaper blow outs
  • New stains, old stains, dried in stains
  • and more!

Quick story: I brought each of my 5 babies home from the hospital in the same outfit. It was a cute, mint green, Winnie the Pooh, sleep sack. When preparing to pack my hospital bag for baby #4, I inadvertently washed and dried that outfit with a tube of cherry Chapstick. It melted all over the fabric and I almost panicked. Instead, I grabbed my Fels-Naptha and went to work. I washed it again and it was as good as new! Thank you, Jesus, and Fels-Naptha!

A bar of Fels-Naptha stain removing soap.
Fels-Naptha is my helpful little hack of the hour because it works!


  • Wet the stained fabric and the end of the Fels-Naptha bar.
  • Rub the Fels-Naptha onto the stain until it forms a visible layer of soap.
  • Fold the fabric so the stain folds on itself like a taco.
  • Rub the two sides of the stain together – one side against the other – until suds form.
  • If the stain is bad, you can let it sit for an hour. Launder as instructed on the garment tag.

I have given bars of this soap as gifts. It smells nice, is inexpensive, and incredibly useful! Whenever anyone in my family spills something, we all say “Fels-Naptha”. And by that we mean “Don’t worry, it’ll come out!”

Fels-Naptha is my first, and possibly favorite, helpful little hack of the hour because it works! I highly recommend it, especially if you don’t already have a preferred, tried-and-true, stain erasing, wonder working, laundry bar.

And while you’re washing those stains away, remember that the blood of Jesus will remove every sinful stain from your life and makes you “white as snow” in the eyes of the Father.

White as snow
White as snow
Though my sins were as scarlet
Lord I know
Lord I know
That I’m clean and forgiven
Through the power of your blood,
Through the wonder of your love,
Through faith in you I know
That I can be
White as snow

“White As Snow” by Maranatha! Music

Wondering why am I publishing these helpful little hacks of the hour? Read the Introduction and Intent post here.